#1

They are bundled off to preschool this morning and there is space and time while littlest sleeps.  But I am not writing yet, only reading.  It rains and the sky is grey. We go to Grandmas and I am bursting to be out of my house, out of my smallness and as soon as we’re there I’m like, ‘Quick we need to go, lets get this chaos home’.  Maybe I want them to need me.  At Grandma’s they don’t need me.  Oh the complications and turmoils of being a mama.  So we talk about our house and how much we love it at bedtime and I tell them about the old house and they try to remember it, its little rooms fading into their memories.  And Ivy’s eyes sparkle as she remembers it, and sees how big this house is. ‘Can we stay here forever?’ Sam asks as I tuck him in.